PTSD

My mom is NOT happy

My sister printed out my Mother's Day post for my parents. And I'm
okay with that.

I got IM notes from the sister as she read it. Which went, roughly:

N: Mom's going down the list. She says 'That's Beth. And that. And I
remember that one. What about this? Is that her?' She's laughing. I
don't think she realizes that you wrote it. And she's harassing me
about my spelling.

E: So the multitasking thing comes from her side of the family. How
bad's your spelling?

N: It's just some words.

E: Well, at least you don't have my problem with comma overuse.

N: Run-on sentences.

E: Yeah, those suck. [Swear to god. My sister and I talk about
grammar. What can I say, we're in grad school. Occupational hazard.]

N: I have to go to Walmart. We're out of catfood.

E: Um, yeah, okay. Have fun with that.

See, it was fine.

Except that then I got a phone call. Which went something like:

Mom: I know which of those were you. Were they all you? I blame this
on your father. Do you hear that, D? It's all your fault! This comes
from your side of the family! He's smiling at me. And giving a
thumb's up. I had no idea you were such a bad influence.

And to think I left you to take care of your brother and sister. Who
knows what you did to them. I mean, look how your sister turned out.
And your brother. Well, no, I don't know what caused that. But she's
definitely been influenced by your behavior.

E: They weren't all me. Just some of them. Some of them were other
people. One of them was S, and a couple were A, and they really
weren't all me.

Mom: But how do I know you're telling the truth? They could all be
you! Was the library thing you? I want to know!

E: No, I don't know binary. That was someone else. I did rearrange
the section, but it was by the second letter of author's last name.
[So it wasn't that hard to figure out.] Plus, I didn't get caught, so
that part's not right.

Mom: Which one was S? Does his mother know? Did he send this to her?

E: The table. And the lyrics. Well, that was a group effort. And no,
I don't think he told her. But it was supposed to be funny. Did you
think it was funny?

Mom: Too bad I didn't have this yesterday. I think I'll take it in to
work with me.

[That's right, folks. My MOTHER was yanking my chain. Wonder who I
get that twisted sense of humor from.]

posted by Elizabeth @ 10:04 PM