PTSD

Pale People at the Beach

Somebody thought it would be a good idea to get a jump start on the
plan to relocate my research to the beach. So we're off (at 6:00
Sunday morning, which is a whole different "I must be completely out of
my mind" thing) to the coast, packing the 45 SPF sunscreen and enough
cookies and sugar-free pop to keep a roomful of kindergarten students
buzzing for a week.

This is probably going to turn out badly.

Not just because I look particularly unfortunate in a swimsuit
(especially the Hawaiian print one that I bought because it does such
good things for my...well, never mind what bits it looks good on. It
doesn't do the rest of me any favors), but also because I come from
that unfortunate group of people who have two reactions to the sun:

1. burn, and
2. peel.

I have no "pink / tan / pleasantly bronzed" setting. I have my usual
sickly pale, and a color that closely approximates a raspberry. A
sunburned raspberry. A sunburned raspberry sitting under a heat lamp.

You get the idea.

With a little luck, it will rain. As far as I can tell, that's the
only way that I'm going to avoid spending Sunday night throwing up from
sun-poisoning and wishing I was dead. Last week I sat outside under a
tree for two hours wearing sunscreen, and came home with burned
shoulders and a peeling nose. But hey, it's summer, so we're going to
the beach. Tra. La. La.

Anybody sees an uncomfortable-looking hibiscus stuck in a pile of bread
dough at an unholy hour of the morning tomorrow, that'll be me. I've
been told that there may be frisbees and tennis involved. It's like
hell, only with dolphins. And kites, probably. Although my version of
hell has kites, so I guess that really isn't a difference.

The things I do to hang out with friends. We can't just all get
together in a nice, dark, air-conditioned theater? One with popcorn
and a nice Russell Crowe movie playing? I'd even settle for that new
Brad Pitt film if it meant I wouldn't have to spend the next week
smelling like lidocaine and aloe.

(This is where I ought to insert the note about posting photos when I
get back. Last time I spent the day at the beach, my fingers were
sunburned and it hurt to type. So don't hold your breath.)

I hate summer.

posted by Elizabeth @ 12:03 AM