Just in time for the BNC

Someone has created a graduate student drinking game! I plan to use it as my strategy for next week; don't be surprised if I can't remember anyone's name by Friday. Or Wednesday night, if there are enough economists at the conference.


1. If the professor opens the floor for discussion and absolutely no one wants to go first drink +1.
2. If the Professor rephrases the question in order to get someone to speak drink +1.
3. If the professor finally has to call on someone who is trying to hide to get the discussion started drink +3 (because you know it is going to be a long 3 hours at that point)
4. If the kiss ass student who loves every book or article raves about the assigned readings drink +1.
5. If the discussion centers around the trendy theory of the day drink +2. (If the discussion is based on Rational Choice Theory drink until you pass out.)
6. If the discussion is centered on a method stolen from another discipline drink +2 If the method makes no sense in your discipline drink +4.
7. If the topic of discussion is a formal model that has never been empirically tested and appears to have no basis in reality drink +2. (Political Science addendum: If the discussion is over an article by Bruce Bueno de Mesquita drink once for each letter in his name)
8. If an area studies or identity theory specialist attempts to reframe the entire discussion in terms of their region of interest or through the prism of their theory of gender, race or whatever roll your eyes and drink +4. If there is no possible way that their direction of discussion could make sense (for example gender theory of Newtonian physics) drink until you pass out.
9. If the discussion uses game theory in a way that even Nash would not have imagined in his wildest hallucinations drink +2 and have sexual thoughts about Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly and or Ron Howard.
10. If the professor uses the word heuristic drink +1. If a student uses it drink +3 and throw something at the student.
11. If you are in a gender, race or orientation theory class and you are not a member of the group represented by the theory or professor you might as well just drink until you pass out.
12. If anyone argues that anything that cannot be measured should be disregarded drink +2.
13. If anyone argues that the real life applicability of a theory should be left to an applied discipline drink +3. (If they say leave it to the sociologists drink +4, light up a joint and consider changing disciplines)
14. If it takes more than an hour for the class to agree on the semantics of the discussion drink +6.
15. If someone goes off on a tangent that makes it obvious that he or she did not do the readings drink +1. If the prof lets them get away with it drink +2 and salute the student. If the prof nails them to the wall for it laugh and drink +3. If the prof makes the student cry in the process cringe and drink +4.
16. Language abuse. If anyone uses words that are the bane of your discipline drink as many drinks as are decided by the players before class starts.
17. Foreign language abuse. If anyone uses phrases in a foreign language (excluding courses in the topic) drink +1. If they misuse the phrase drink +2. If they use Latin in anything but legal studies references and terms drink +4 and set their toga on fire.
18. Name dropping. If anyone relates a story or bit of wisdom they were allegedly told by a famous name in the field drink +1. If said person is dead and cannot refute it drink +2. If the person in question died before the name dropping student was born drink +3 and whip out a Ouija board and demand confirmation.
19. If it is a statistics lecture just drink until you are hammered. It will probably make more sense then anyway.
20. If the prof offers to cut the discussion short drink in his or her honor and pick up the first round of drinks for the prof.

Now go, add some more suggestions in the comments. You've all been in this class.


At 3/18/2006 7:05 PM, Anonymous Jenny said...

Brilliant! Truly brilliant!

At 3/18/2006 9:00 PM, Blogger Priya said...

Love it!

Have decided that I"ll be working on my second presentation in the time between my first presentation and the time I'm supposed to be doing my second.

Most likely won't be drinking at all but will be around to encourage yous :-)

That's all assuming I'll have a place to stay by Tuesday.

I wonder if it's time to finally grow up and be organised, for once? Too late for this time anyway. Read other comment about not having glasses too.


Post a Comment

<< Home