whatever happened to Diver Dan?*

I dragged IntLaw to the opening of 300 today. Some thoughts:

- Turns out (spoiler alert to those who, like me, had no idea that the "300" lost): the heroes lose. Was told by IntLaw that "everyone knows that". Well, duh. So, what's the point of all those trailers then? I feel rather cheated.

- Blokes in Speedos should be encouraged to fight as long as possible. Ideally while showing off their physiques in said Speedoes. Who knew the Spartans had Speedoes (and leather Speedoes at that)?

- Which leads me to my other observation: The main Spartan was a Scot (with a strong Scots accent). Various other Spartans were Australian and Welsh. Is this some sort of meta-comment on the post/anti-colonial revolution?

- The "everything is eventually about IR" moment: idealists fight and lose, realists are pragmatic. There's even a monologue on Idealism vs Realism.

- It's always a bad idea to stop and congratulate each other on the battlefield.

- Where's Vinnie Jones when you need him?

- Xerxes (evil Persian type) is played by a Brazilian with an American-ish accent. He also has tweezed eyebrows (since we all know EPTs are big on threading) and wears eyeliner. He owns slaves and make them carry him about in a gigantic throne. He also uses them as steps. He's very obviously against Freedom.

- In case yous have not gotten the message, Spartans are for Freedom.

- It's a good thing we have two eyes since we can then easily afford to lose one.

- Spartan females are strong and powerful and full of Spivak Chakraborty-style speeches about speaking on behalf of those who are silent. Asian/Persian females swank about half-naked, snog each other and sh*g deformed blokes.

- Really, the Spartans do not win.

- Hunchbacks should never be slighted. In a very obvious move, they will be seduced (see above about the role of Asian/Persian women) by the enemy and betray you.

- Enduring image: Gerard Butler, in his leather Speedoes, running up to throw a spear at Xerxes. That alone was well worth the price of admission.

* He turned into a one-eyed chronicler of events and future battle commander of the Spartans. He also did a lot of training and looked pretty damned good in his leather Speedoes.

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