VMA Liveblogging. It's a long story.

Preshow (FBR related):

1. Patrick Stump interrupting! He's going to judge which of Pete's favorite tracks is better! They're so cute and pocket-sized that I don't see how anyone could dislike them.

Also, their music doesn't suck. Which is something of a rarity this year.

2. Aww. Brendon Urie and Spencer Smith weren't allowed into the parties this weekend. And...okay. There is an upper age limit for the whole emopunk look. And the MTV vj whose name escapes me at the moment? [ETA: John Norris.] Definitely well beyond it. Dude looks like a trailer park blond after a long night out at the dog track.

The Show (music and snarking):

1. Didn't Britney used to be better at lip syncing? And I love that she's still brave enough to get up on stage in tiny glittering hotpants. But she looks really uncomfortable in her costume, and that's not sexy.

2. Holy shit. Sarah Silverman is going to get her ass kicked in the parking lot of The Palms tonight after the VMAs.

Seriously. Paris and Britney are going to be out there waiting with stilettos and a tire iron or something.

3. Pete Wentz throwing his bass. And the speakers flying at the windows. And Patrick Stump's voice. Three things I'm glad I didn't miss out on tonight. Plus its nice to know that not everyone is using prerecorded music.

4. Beyonce and Shakira beating out U2 and Green Day for collaboration? They have GOT to be kidding me. That's just wrong, people. Wrong. I don't care if Shakira's in Canada. I wanted to see Green Day and U@ on the same award plaque.

4. Yeah. Still hate Justin Timberlake. A lot. Perhaps even more now than I used to.

But Rosario Dawson is hot.

5. Okay, I'm sorry. But Chris Brown acting like the evil puppet offspring of Charlie Chaplin? MTV, why must you torment me like this? This is just...creepy and bad. Which is a shame, because the song is better than the routine.

6. Yeah. I hate the artist announcements. The faux computer information voices are irritating, not edgy. I gave them an hour, but they keep getting more annoying every time.

Also, Justin Timberlake is a giant dork. The not-fun kind of dork. The kind who does not, in fact, rock his shiny little watch fob. Also, white boys? Should not pronounce damn with multiple syllables.

I will grant that I agree with him on the whole "Play more videos" thing.

7. I am very nervous about what they've done to Beowulf. I don't want to live in a world where Angelina Jolie plays Grendel's mother. Really, I don't.

8. So this is two, three appearances for Foo Fighters and Timberlake. Each. I'm feeling a bit deprived of music moments from bands I actually enjoy hearing.*

9. Shia LaBeouf looks like he drew his mustache on with an eye pencil. And he doesn't know his lines. And he's...talking about Indiana Jones? Well, if it makes him happy, I guess.

10. Wow. Somebody stepped on the cue, there. Was it Pamela Anderson, or the sound guys? That was just awkward.

11. I have no idea what's going on in the Fall Out Boy suite. But holy shit, I want to be at that party. Gym Class Heroes, Brendon Urie singing backup, Patrick Stump playing the keyboard (and fucking up his vocals, but whatever), Halloween masks.

It's like a kegger with Decaydance.

If MTV's smart, they'll stream the suite concerts after the show.

12. Lasers are ALWAYS cool.

13. Fall Out Boy is up against Gym Class Heroes. *snickers* Sorry, it's not funny. I'm sure it's very stressful. But honestly. It's not like they aren't the only two bands really in the running for this.

Pete Wentz has a little SIGN!!! A sign, people. He made a sign.

Come on. That's so goofy it's back around to brilliant.

14. Kid Rock. Oh, honey. I'm so sorry you ended up the sort of person who eats breakfast. That's got to be painful. (I remember him playing clubs in Toledo to, like, 60 people. I'm trying not to think about how old that makes me.)

15. You think Ryan Ross knows Alicia Keys stole his headband?

She gets points for the George Michael remake, though. Nicely done.

16. Oh look. MTV has figured out that the people in the Fall Out Boy suite are having the most fun, too. You can tell by the way they're suddenly showing clips from that party.

Dammit. I really wish I'd recorded this.

17. Gym Class Heroes for best new artist means it's a good night for FBR, really. I'm happy for them, even if they aren't my favorite band in the mix. At least they aren't Justin Timberlake.

[This is the point where my mother called. My grandfather had a party for his 79th birthday, and ate chili, onion rings, and ice cream. He washed it down with beer.

Short version: people in my family are strange.]

18. I actually missed the name of whoever won video of the year. She seemed pleased, though. So that's good?

19. Oh, look. The Foo Fighters are just as drunk as the kids in the Fall Out Boy suite now. Turns out they were just off to a slow start.

20. Lasers? Still awesome. Justin Timberlake? Still the unfortunate kind of dork. What's with the giant handkerchief in his pocket? Is it to wipe the last of his credibility up off the stage at the end of the song?

21. Oh, kids. If you can't hear the audience say, "Ye-a-uh," don't ask them again.

*Okay, that's not quite fair. There are Foo Fighters songs that don't suck.

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At 9/11/2007 12:20 AM, Blogger Priya said...

Now I want to know what the sign said and the vision of Britney and Paris (with tire irons) cracked me up.

I rather enjoyed the Chris Brown thing--I did wonder whether it was his idea or MTV's evil plan to turn a popular teenager into some oldie comic that none of his fans would ever recognise.

At 9/12/2007 10:29 PM, Blogger Elizabeth said...

It said "3-Peat." Get it? Because it's their third, and he's Pete, and...yeah.

The Chris Brown thing--everyone was talking about how brilliant the routine was, for referencing Michael Jackson, and I get that, but...it wasn't all that smart. It happened to be better than most of the main shows, but that's saying very little, given that the whole show was a mess.


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