PTSD

Small lessons

While Priya's busy swanning around Scotland, I get to pick up the slack here in the PTSD. (Aside: why is it called "the OC?" That doesn't make any sense. Who says "The Orange County?" Makes it sound like everyone's walking around covered in generic bronzer.) And I'm trying, although admittedly you're getting a higher-than-usual proportion of useless crap (or, as we like to call it, "fiber") in with the snark and the miniscule bits of interesting information we manage to fling out.

Today, it's the "ten things I learned so far this week" list. In no particular order:

1. Vinegar and water is the best thing to apply to a sunburn. You don't peel, and the fact that the nauseating all-over pain is briefly reduced makes it okay that you smell rather strongly of pickles. Well, maybe not for the person you're married to, who has to cope with the pickle smell while missing out on the pain-relief part. Especially if he hates pickles and avoids them even in perfectly legitimate situations such as ballparks and potato salad recipes.

2. Daytime television sucks, doubly so when you leave the remote control on the other side of the room and it hurts to walk (not a little "I sprained my ankle" kind of hurt. I mean a "My legs are on fire, kill me now" kind of hurt.) The sort of hurt that makes it okay to watch three hours of C-SPAN or "Who's the Boss" reruns just to avoid standing up. FYI, cats won't go change the channel for you. Not even if you try to bribe them with tuna fish and a new kitty-condo. They just look at you and laugh.

3. It doesn't matter what grade you give, the students are going to complain.

4. If I lay in bed all day, my cats assume that I'm dead and go to work destroying the apartment. They're very methodical, my cats. They don't believe in leaving any vase unsmashed or book unchewed. And they love to eat carpet, which they then throw up on the carpet.

5. Actually, that last one shoud probably have been two things. The destroying bit, and the methodical bit. So here's a freebie: don't wear black in DC in June. It isn't worth it. You can't look classy and put together when your eyeballs are sweating, so why bother trying?

6. When working on campus during the summer, pack a lunch. The reason that Jared guy got skinny eating Subway is because, after the first three days, you'd rather starve than eat another damn sandwich. And everyone knows that McDonalds is the first sign of the apocalypse. Wonder where my Strawberry Shortcake lunchbox went?

7. People who send in full panels to the "Big Professional Conference that Priya and I really, really want to go to, and not just because March is a crappy time to be in DC" get accepted because it's not a fun job to have to put the panels together from a bunch of other people's individual paper submissions. Plus, if the final panels aren't any good, it's the panelists' own fault, which is a great CYA result.

8. Putting panels together is still more fun than working on my prospectus or studying for a comp (which rates only slightly above being sunburned).

9. Interns should come with warning labels: "Subject to bouts of inexplicable obsession with all things DC. May come to a sudden stop or burst into random boring conversation about the importance of 'Working your way up' and 'Paying dues' while ordinary people are trying to avoid eye contact on the Metro."

10. In order to avoid #9 come happy hour (the worst time for intern sightings, as they are both relieved to be done working and trying to prove they are cool enough to get drunk with the other interns), it pays to have a slightly grungy bar already staked out in May. Said bar should be defended at all costs, even if it means drinking at 3:00 on a Friday afternoon in order to hold a table. This is made slightly easier if you have already perfected the "I wish you would go play in traffic, you stupid, stupid person" glare that got me through law school.

Not bad for a Wednesday, I guess.

posted by Elizabeth @ 4:58 PM