PTSD

Sometimes, we do jump

Last evening, I was standing watching a group of people in front of me when this bloke came up and started talking. The conversation went like this:
Him: Hi, are you by yourself?
Me: yes
Him: all alone?
Me: (that's what "by myself" means, isn't it?) umm..yes
Him: You want to hang with us? (I'd actually not heard of "hang with" before. Hang out with, yes. Hang with, no. Rather like fruit bats, it seemed)
Me: No, thanks, I'm all right.
Him: But, it's awkward....by yourself
Me: No, I'm fine.
Him: Well, if you feel awkward...we're there (pointed to the side of the room)

Now, in case yous are wondering why some stranger would come up, voluntarily start a conversation and then ask some other person (me) to join his group, let me clarify by saying that I was at a concert. The Flogging Molly concert, to be precise, which was absolutely magnificent. Even then, it was rather odd that I'd been singled out. I've been to pubs (football-watching is usually a solitary exercise) by myself and even concerts by myself but hardly anyone comes up for a chat. Even if they do, people don't often point out that I may be "awkward" alone.

Turns out, I wasn't awkward at all. Instead, I jumped up and down like one of those yoyo things. Let me clarify why: I can't dance. Nepali folk are genetically programmed not to be able to dance and any time I try dancing, I look like I'm trying out for the Ministry of Silly Walks instead of actually dancing. I thoroughly enjoy jumping though on a semi-regular basis. Celtic-rock/punk is brilliant to jump to. So, I spent most of three hours jumping like someone on an automated pogo stick.

I'm planning on putting this concert-going experience in the category of research since the band was Celtic-rock/punk (though from Los Angeles. Well, the lead singer is from Dublin so that counts, right?). I had dressed the part in green trousers, a faded green t-shirt and a green and pink scarf that E gave me for Xmas. Btw, have yous noticed that the lead singers of most of these punk-style bands seem to look more like your stereotypical absent-minded professor than Johnny Rotten or Joe Strummer? This bloke (he had glasses on as well) would fit into bignamemeeting perfectly. Probably far more than (none suit-owning) I will.

On my walk home through the neighbourhood where I live (where not a single person was about, making it dark, foggy and rather perfect for a potential vampire/zombie encounter), I was thinking about things that make me feel awkward. It's not going to pubs/concerts alone but rather talking to people I don't know. I am starting to dread bignamemeeting already. An academic-in-training who doesn't fancy talking. Well, someone has to be it.

posted by Priya @ 1:07 AM