12.12.06

Hey, take a break from grading.

To go read this.

Postgraduate Office
A lonely, narrow room, with desks arranged in rows that remind you of battery farming. Yellowing printouts of Piled Higher and Deeper peel from the walls, and in the distance you can hear the faint sound of undergraduate feet tramping into an exam room.

There is an endless stack of essays in front of you.

>pick up stack
You really don't want to do that.

>make coffee
You move towards the other end of the office, view the Thing growing out of the kettle, and scuttle back to the safety of your desk.

>look at stack
It's not getting any smaller.

>pick up essay
You lift one essay off the pile.

>read essay
With trepidation, you lift aside the cover sheet. Suddenly, the world around you seems to melt away...

Hell
You are in a maze of twisty little paragraphs, all alike. The path ahead of you is littered with sentence fragments, left broken and twitching at your feet as their pathetic spaniel eyes implore you to put them out of their misery. Dangling modifiers loop happily through the branches overhead. In the distance, that sound of undergraduate feet has turned into a heavy, erratic thwump - swoop - THWUMP you recognise immediately - it's a badly-indented long quotation, and it's coming closer.

2 Comments:

At 12/12/2006 6:48 PM, Blogger Priya said...

Surprisingly, I've had very good writers in my class this semester. I was dreading what I'd get (based on past experience) but nary a winding sentence or a paper full of typos for this lot.

There are, however, a few lazy sods. Just like me, in fact. I had to send a "get your arses in gear and stop saying you will submit your old paper to me" emails today.

Where's your favorite thing, eh? Where?

 
At 12/19/2006 9:05 PM, Blogger Elizabeth said...

it was eaten by a grue.

 

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