The Pope is Undead

We've pretty much resigned ourselves to hell, so this is going up even if it offends people. Because it's funny, and also, we're probably going to hell for several other reasons, so at this point being good people is purely of academic interest.

E: So until we hear differently, the paradox of Schrodinger’s cat says that the pope is both alive and dead. This would have to have serious religious issues, right?

M: so if he is both alive and dead wouldn’t that make him undead? so is he a holy undead, a mostly undead, partially undead, or just taking the year dead for tax reasons?

and at the risk of adding another couple millennia to my stay in purgatory, does it count that they reported him dead but on the somethingth day he arose but it was through the assistance of a feeding tube?

D: I KNEW someone would say that.

M: yes it was cliché and such a cheap shot so as not to deserve points but it had to be said.

D: I'm so disappointed though. I really expected something more creative like: I hear Jesse Jackson AND Al Sharpton are jetting to Italy in the event anyone gives a shit what they think.

E: not undead, just dead. and alive. physics humor is lost on you two.

what about Falwell? he'll feel so left out.

M: what do you mean physics humor is lost?

as i remember about the cat, it involved a box with a cat that was partially there and partially not there. sort of like many of our political leaders’ brains.

so dead not dead would be like a spiritual there not there.

and since the spirit is by many considered the soul. and the undead are considered to be souls trapped between life and death by some cultures they are thus souls that are there not there.

aka he is undead.

but it would be cooler if he was a vampire then he could get his own comic book.

E: the cat was not half dead, it was both dead and not dead. half a cat isn't funny. half a pope isn't funny. that's just sick.

a vampire pope? M, you are so going to hell. again. (how many commandments does that leave us?)

B: if you paint the popemobile black, and the pope dies inside, is he really dead?

D: The flies say yes and according to the Mythbusters you'll never get the smell out either.

P: somehow i think physics humour would not be appreciated in my little part of the world...but i sniggered.

reckon one could make up a good comic series out of this. is there one on popes? "the SUPER-POPES...clarifying confusions by creating chaos"


At 4/03/2005 9:38 AM, Anonymous Weberman said...

It might be more accurate to say that the Pope is now an uncollapsed wave-function. Like the Catholic Church as a whole until it collapses into a new more determinate state at the end of the interregnum and has a new Pope.

Of course, one disadvantage of being an uncollapsed wave-function is that you can no longer say anything in your own name, leaving your legacy for the moment to the whims of deeply silly talking heads like Paula Zahn and Anderson Cooper on CNN ("the Pope was a beloved leader" "the Pope liked people" "the Pope smokes dope" -- oh, wait, not that last one), as they try to collapse the now-actually-uncollapsable Pope into some determinate (and easily summarizable) state.

The Pope is dead; long live the Pope.

At 4/04/2005 4:02 PM, Blogger Elizabeth said...

True--but then what do we do with FOX news, which collapsed said pope into dead hours before everyone else? You can't uncollapse a wave-function, right?

Since the Catholic Church currently doesn't have a pope, I think it's fair to say that the pope smokes dope until someone proves otherwise. No, wait, until someone collapses the wave-function that is the papacy into the individual(s) elected to that office.

At 4/04/2005 6:25 PM, Anonymous Weberman said...

FOX has special collapse-the-wave-function powers. That's how they managed to cause all that trauma about the World Trade Center attacks to people in Middle America who never came within miles of the site.

And technically, Terry Schiavo was the "undead" one. Or did you miss last week's episode of South Park in which that was established pretty definitively?

At 4/06/2005 3:24 PM, Blogger Elizabeth said...

Can I just say, for the record, that the thought of FOX news having special powers is absolutely terrifying. Especially powers that allow it to manipulate quantum events.

And I am sadly out of date on South Park. Got this whole PhD thing going on right now. Maybe I could do a dissertation on the politics of Comedy Central and IR?


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