PTSD

I'm not dead yet!

Oh, for the love of…yes, I’m sorry, I’ve been a bit out of it lately. But it isn’t like I’ve been hiding under a rock or something.

Well, not really. I mean, I’ve been going to work and stuff, so I can’t have been *that* out of it. Just because I’ve been avoiding campus and not calling people on the phone and not going out and not blogging and not answering my emails half the time…

Huh. Moving right along, then.

Is it wrong that I seriously considered skipping a big conference in order to go wander around in the woods for a week? How about that I’m still thinking about it, because I found myself in Rodman’s tonight buying three dollar candy bars and trying to remember the last time I was in the States this time of year?*

Or maybe that, when I was attempting to clean the neat’s foot oil out from under my nails yesterday,** breaking in my shiny new boots sounded perfectly reasonable as the justification for pissing off Priya and anybody else who expects me to be there—including S, who is the responsible one and has to work that week—and heading north of the border. That probably (definitely) falls on the “crazy stupid ideas” end of the spectrum.

I’m rambling, I’m homesick, and according to my dad I have just 364 more days to enjoy being in my twenties. Is it any wonder I’ve been hiding in my room?

* I think it may have been the eleventh grade. Maybe. Most of high school is a blur, so don’t quote me on that.

** What? Have you ever tried hiking in a pair of boots with that silicon waterproofing crap on them? I spent good money making sure that my ankles hold me up, and I don’t want them melting off from boots covered in so much Teflon they might as well be plastic.

So neat’s foot oil, it is. I might cave and put some waterproofing on the seams, but only because I’m also not a fan of wet socks.

Good boots (and these are good boots, they’re fantastic boots, they make me want to throw out all my high heels and buy a flannel shirt and big ugly hat) deserve to be oiled, not smothered.

They also need to be worn, which is handy because, hey, I plan on doing just that. Often. With skirts, if necessary, because it is criminally hot and humid here and I’ve done the heatstroke thing, and it sucked. And it’s hard on your boots, all that passing out and falling down on concrete.

posted by Elizabeth @ 11:33 PM