Is the universe out to get me?

I'm taking a poll. I think it is, others disagree and suggest that I'm taking myself too seriously. I would like to note that I am part of the universe, and so any of the following which could be described as my own fault is also, on some level, part of the conspiracy. So here's the day so far.

1. I overslept. Not just a little, but by like three hours. Right through the alarm, even though I know it went off because
2. When I finally woke up, I was forced to listen to the beegees "staying alive" until I managed to find my glasses, the alarm, and the tiny button that makes it stop.
3. I needed that three hours to finish a paper which I had already spent most of a day on so that I can get a decent grade in my epidemiology class. No paper, no grade. So there's that gone, since
4. My computer ate my influenza presentation (also due this morning). Not the whole thing, just the time consuming illustrations.
5. When I finished the presentation (again) and sent it off, I got an email from the prof asking me to bring my laptop because the video I had to find twice wasn't working on the university pc. No big deal, except
6. I planned to use my laptop to show my notes for the actual, you know, talking part of the presentation, and
7. My printer crapped out halfway through page 13 (leaving me with partial pages 13-20, and nothing other than that in hard copy)
8. Despite a creative use of four letter words, I was unable to gently coax the printer into giving me at least the notes (since the pages already printed were conveniently without about half of them due to my inability to format text.)
9. Fighting with the printer meant I would miss my train, losing the time I need to review said notes in order to use them without the printouts / laptop.
10. Running to the car led me to trip and perform a rather spectacular face plant in the parking lot, breaking my heel off in the process. At least they weren't a favorite pair.
11. Forcing me to go back into the house in search of flipflops and bandaids
12. and to get blood on my shirt, which then needed changed so that no one thinks I'm an axe murderer without a decent watch.
13. Traffic in dc sucks (this isn't between the universe and me, it just generally sucks. So it takes 35 minutes to go the five miles between my house and the campus parking lot)
14. Where there is, of course, nowhere to park. Again, not the universe. I think. Just the way things are.
15. And the parking pay thingy (when I finally find a spot) will not take my credit card because it is broken. (The parking thingy, not my card. It works fine. Just ask my bank.)
16. And give me approximately fourteen dollars in dimes (not useful quarters, mind you, but dimes) as change.
17. The elevator, thank god, is working.
18. When I get to the presentation (very late, embarrassingly late) I no longer need my computer, because the prof has kindly brought his laptop. I didn't know this, since he sent me an email at 12:30 and I was already in the car, but still. He tried.
19. The presentation, which is something I was looking forward to because it's about a topic that I really, really like talking about, is a disaster because I'm stressed and working with an undergraduate who is nice, but not so good at presentations. No, to be honest, she's fine. It's my part of the presentation that sucked. She was just trying to help me out.
20. The video (for which I needed the laptop in the first place) doesn't work on the prof's laptop without considerable additional swearing.
21. In the interest of saving time, I have left out the latest influenza research which says that yes, influenza occasionally causes vomiting. This is, of course, the one question that is asked.
22. That and some stuff about chickens, which do not travel in herds (seriously, don't ask, they just don't. But ducks do. Go figure.)
23. I've also just realized that all day I've been walking around with a stain on my shirt. Why didn't someone tell me this? i hope it's because no one notices, and not because I've been walking around looking like death warmed over all day.
24. And none of this is an excuse, bc I was just bitching yesterday about undergrads with stupid excuses for not getting stuff done.

It's been downhill from there. I need a nap.

[ETA: 25. *sound of weird Samba ring that we use on our cell phone because I secretly wish I could be Josh Lyman*

E: What? Make it quick, I'm in the Metro and this is roaming.
PH: Um, do you know where the car is?
*rumble, rumble, rumble...snick*
E: Son of a...

That's right, loyal reader. It just cost me an hour and $1.35 (plus roaming) to realize that I'm on the train on the way home and the car is sitting in the campus parking lot.]


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