PTSD

Genealogy of a dinner

Yes, we're still parsing it out. Takes time to grok stuff like this. Bear with us, as we bring you another genealogy (this time on pre-dinner jitters).

E: Am wondering if it would be worth skipping SystemGuru’s class next week to have dinner at Weberman’s with QuantumGuy?

P: yes yes yes. wow. that would be fantastic. am envious :-)
ask him all sorts of questions about his book...
and WeberMan’s wife is a great cook (as well as being a lovely person, of course)

E: I guess it's worth it. Although I'm a little terrified that I'll make an ass of myself. Plus, I'm not sure that I remember how to get to WeberMan’s house.

P: be warned that a comfy looking cushion on the floor in the living room of WeberMan's house is for the dog (which didn't appear when i was there)

did i tell you i sat on the dog's bed when i was there thinking it was a sitting thing for people? WeberMan warned me off it (after i had already sat there...it was rather comfy)
you really can't beat that.
about getting there, i reckon RandomProf would give you a lift. that is how i got there.
also, keep in mind that the gossip shared should be spread :-)
i find it rather amusing that i got to go to the ex-wife's and you got the big man...

E: I find it rather scary. I'm going to have to go back and read QG before Wed. It doesn't seem fair that I should have to do research for a dinner party.

Also, Anomie now going to the dinner. So there will be at least one person there who knows what a dope I am at university functions.

P: i don't really think you need to read QG. from my past experience, they will discuss other people, other people's works and whinge about other people and you will learn heaps of gossip :-)

it is sunny outside today but the temp remains below zero. am unamused at the weather. waited eagerly for the mail but no sign of package so far :-(
off to read other messages...

more on the previous dinner: i also had my first ever pumpkin pie (didn't like it much esp as Nepali/Thai people are used to seeing pumpkins as veggies not desserts) but couldn't operate the container for whipped cream and had to be tutored on it (loudly) by TheoryGuy.

E: I do know how to operate a whipped cream can, but it is now spring and there won't be any pumpkin pie.

P: yes, true. and you most likely have more mechanical skills than i do. i didn't even know whipped cream came out of an aerosol can.

E: Still fairly nervous about whole dinner thing, bc my personality doesn't seem to have any Raginesque subtleties--it's either on (loud, opinionated, and generally rude) or off (quiet, dull, and rather mousy). I blame this on a lack of role models. Fat women on tv are either loud and obnoxious or the quiet best friend of the main character; fat women in my family are universally loud and overbearing, except for my mom, who is quiet. Apparently there is no in-between who act like normal human beings.

P: oh please. you are not even fat. and that is such a stereotype. talking about stereotypes, had a long email from my fellow phd fellow and flatmate who is now in poland saying that fawlty towers was on tv on friday and she watched the german episode and found it hilarious. though it was in polish. am rather disturbed by idea of polish-speaking basil fawlty who makes polish students in german institutes (her phd is at some german institute funded by germans) laugh.

E: Also, my talent for gossip runs to the illegal and / or foul-mouthed, neither of which are appropriate at this sort of thing. So I shall end up sitting in a corner (prob in aforementioned dog bed) and then going home. My comfort level at prof-student mixers is about nil, since I really haven't been to any. The ones in law school were generally keggers (except for the one that LJ and I hosted, which is nearly legendary bc I ended up loudly telling off a professor for hitting on a student. It's a little hazy, but I think I threatened to take him out back and beat some sense into him. There was clapping, and he must not remember it either bc he hasn’t mentioned it since.)

P: here. everyone seems to get tipsy and insult each other.

E: So, to recap:

1) I don't know what to say at such gatherings, and so shall remain v quiet.
2) I will prob get lost and end up being late
3) I will, undoubtedly, spill something colorful on my shirt (or worse, someone else's shirt)
4) Unless they have alcohol, in which case I will end up loudly insulting someone important and THEN spill something.

P: nah.
1) can't. somebody will say something to piss you off. so there.
2) get a lift with RandomProf. that way the pressure of starting conversation falls off you when you enter the house (always a fraught moment when one realises that really having conversation while taking shoes off is rather difficult)
3) wear a dark shirt
4) there really isn't anyone imp. except the great and newsworthy QG. Who will be mellow and chilled after his intellectually stimulating discussion with TUWSNBM students beforehand.

btw, the QuantumGuy issue is irrelevant since he will either love to hear himself talk (and will do so) or get corralled (term?) by WeberMan and his mates. heard from my substitute that the ST talk went well on Friday and was full of "intense discussion". Hope StructureGuy is pleased. He has told me to review a couple of books for him and the first one is intensely annoying. the author is annoying, the writing is annoying, the thesis is annoying. oh, what is the frito book you are talking about? have you mentioned it before (in full) and i forgot about it. quite likely since i think my night on the cold stairs killed most of my "little grey cells" as Hercule Poirot repeatedly calls them (why grey?)

am expecting all the (gory and non gory) details of the QG visit. wonder if, in future, it will be like "kantian"

E: noted. still slightly panicked, but going to throw caution to the winds. Thinking now that I shd pick up a plant or something as a hostess gift--is this something they do?

P: this is just a quick message to remind you that you should tell me all what happens in the QG talk. am still highly disappointed that you didn't manage to set up a web cam and have QG participate in an online chat. should have though of those of your colleagues who are stranded in the scandinavian outback and had pity!

E: If a webcast is possible, don't you think WeberMan would have already arranged one?

(Post-Dinner Email) Have decided that good conversation is like crack, and emails can be very good conversation. TF must curb my addiction to emails. will probably not be successful, but may get a blog entry out of it.

So this is why I'm now in love with QuantumGuy’s theory (or at least his ontology / epistemology):

the idea that quantum unpredictability can be the foundation for discussions of consciousness is inherently attractive to me; it seems to be able to deal with the mind / body question of positivism (talked about by QG) without throwing the possibility of truth out the window (ie postmodernism). Also, I like the acknowledgment that pragmatism, as an epistemology, is the source of some of the problems that social constructivisms have with the positivists. Wave functions allow for the possibility of knowing and not knowing that I like about system dynamics; also they allow for talking about complex systems and the influence of chaos theory on the theories of social science.

Plus, physics is just fun, and QG had no problem answering questions with, "I don't know, I'll have to think about that." Hooray!

On a related (okay, tangential, but hey, what’s the point of genealogy if you only talk about the final understanding of things?) note:
am reading blog which I am now ABSOLUTELY SURE is WeberMan’s in small doses, as he also gives me a headache in writing; plus, our blog is terribly pedestrian and whiny in comparison. wondering if I will ever be on enough of an even keel to have an actual conversation with him (or anyone else, for that matter). magic eight ball says no. So shall continue to stock up on Tylenol and muddle my way through life.

much more comfortable with X’s connected blog about being in-between, as this is a place that is more familiar to me. Shall write a post about being in-between, but shall call it by the pretentious name of liminality.

posted by Elizabeth @ 3:57 PM